A few nights ago my boyfriend and i sat down/ lied down on this mattress on a deserted oval to look at the stars and talk about if our relationship has any future. It hurt. I think that why we chose to lay staring up at the stars. They are such a beautiful distraction. So breathtaking and amazing it kinda hurts to think about anything else. I felt like i was swimming in a freezing cold lake and my brain was having trouble staying alive let alone processing coherent thoughts.
I love him. And we are both each others first true loves. It sucks. Sometimes all i want to do is find him and cling to him like he makes everything better. But really we cramp each other. We stump each others growth and so all we feel is anger and frustration to each other. But i really do love him. Who else is going to notice the shards of blue behind all the brown in his eyes. Who else is going to kiss his sensitive soft neck. Who else is going to call him little bunny. I can read him like a book. And he can read me like a book... most of the time. We are completely in love. Its just we are so not right for each other. That hurts. What happens then? Do we hold on to each other or painfully move on. It literally is i can not live with or with out him
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